Perfection is totally ruining my life. Or rather my overwhelming desire for it is.
Perfectionism isn’t generally something we complain about in ourselves. It’s usually something we say about other people, as they drive us up the wall with their unreasonable demands and expectations. Well, I make myself crazy. (I’m not discounting the reality that I make everyone around me crazy too- I love you dear husband!)
I almost feel kind of silly writing this post also, because my mind is telling me “Perfectionist? Hah! Look at your kitchen! Do you have any idea what you are making for dinner? Your bed isn’t made! You didn’t call about that thing! And look at your writing- is that really as good as it gets?”
And this is exactly the problem with being a perfectionist- nothing could ever be good enough in your life, because life is never perfect. I blame a lot of my high-strung mentality on my perfectionism:
Inflexibility, because life can’t possibly turn out perfect if I haven’t had enough advance warning to think through and plan out every detail of any move I make.
Irritability, because if anything goes against my internal rubric of perfection, usually small things, (background noise, things out of place, turns of phrase, on and on) I can’t help but fixate on the small imperfection until I snap over another ridiculously small annoyance.
Indecision. I cannot allow myself to attempt or to start something until I have convinced myself that it will have the exact outcome I expect. Usually things as small as calling the cable company. (I did that today, honey!)
And I just realized that I totally unconsciously made a list of the three I’s of my worst personality traits.
Are you a perfectionist? What is your personal neurosis?